


To Be Honest, Tim

by Tvieandli



Series: Just-Friends [4]
Category: Red Robin (Comics), Superboy (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-29 00:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tvieandli/pseuds/Tvieandli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim showed up with questions. Tim always had questions. Tim wanted to be the spanish inquisition, Kon would be the one who interrogated him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Be Honest, Tim

**Author's Note:**

> Oops. I guess I take it back about not adding any more to this one.

Tim showed up with questions. Tim always had questions. Kon made a face as he stepped back from the door to let the other boy in. Ma was idling in the kitchen, trying to pretend that she was making a pie. It was blueberry instead of apple. She knew Tim hated blueberries. A subtle, passive aggressive country strike against someone who'd hurt her family.

Kon appreciated it. He really did.

"Where did you go?" Tim asked. 

It had been a week since Kon ran out on dinner, and it was clear that Tim had only just got up the courage, and the time to fly out to Kansas, and give him what for.

"Home," Kon said simply. He didn't give Tim an inch. He didn't allow his face to show anything. He stood there, impassive, arms folded over the black chest of his t-shirt.

"Why?" Tim asked.

"Why did you ask me to dinner?" Kon responded. Question with questions. Tim wanted to be the spanish inquisition, Kon would be the one who interrogated him.

"Because I wanted you to meet my girlfriend," Tim said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm gonna give you something here, Tim, and you're not gonna like it, but out here we aren't constantly lying through our teeth, so I think you need a little truth dropped on you. You, and Tam aren't going to last much longer. Don't argue with me," Kon demanded when Tim opened his mouth, "You're going to drift apart, and break up, and you can blame the superhero shtick all you fuckin' want, but the truth will be that it's you. You don't wanna put enough effort into a relationship for it to pan out, and work. I watched it with Steph. I watched it with Zoe. I watched it with mother fucking Lynx, which was very Batman of you, good job. And here I thought we told each other we wouldn't grow up to be our mentors."

Tim spluttered, and seemed to search for an answer, but Kon shook his head.

"I've watched you do this a million times, and I feel genuinely, honestly sorry for these girls, because I've done more than watch. I've been on the receiving end of Timothy Drake's bullshit more times than Stephanie Brown at this point. I can fucking empathize with them. I understand on an intrinsic level the kind of crap you pull. You're nice Tim. You're inviting. You lead with all these promises, and these nice things, you make people think that you'll change, and it'll be for them. Only for them."

The look on the other boy's face was painful, but Kon didn't know how to stop at this point. There was no stop really. It all needed to come out. He could hear Ma in the kitchen pretending she wasn't listening, heartbeat speeding up in anticipation for what was going to come next.

"And you don't want to hear it, but you're scared," Kon said, watching Tim flinch. "You're scared because some man who's dead now made some off handed remarks about homosexuality. So what he was your father? What right does that give him to dictate who you are? You think I let Lex Luthor dictate who I am?" Tim cast around looking for an out, but Kon didn't give it to him. "I used to be terrified I would become him, but do you know what I noticed? I won't! I won't because I'm different. I understand him. I do, but I've got the things he never had. Or at least I thought I did," he trailed off weekly, watching as it brought Tim's focus back to him. "I thought I had you."

Tim's foot shuffled backwards over the floorboards, and Kon took a deep breath, preparing for him to run. He honestly looked like he would until he saw that the whole tirade was over.

"The worst thing about all of it is I know you know," Kon said slowly, teeth scraping over his bottom lip, TTK wrapping in tightly around him like a security blanket. "That I love you."

Tim was utterly silent. His heart beat slowed, and the muscles in his arms relaxed in stark contrast to the rigidness of his legs.

"I know you know, but that doesn't stop you from doing this."

"Doing what?" Tim asked. His voice was cut off, and pitched down. This wasn't Tim. This was Red Robin. He was staring at Kon's chest the way he stared at a criminal's to gauge the next move. It was something he did because it made it easier not to see them as human. 

"You're using me, Tim."

The boy's eyes widened, and he looked from Kon's chest up to his face.

Kon shrugged. "You're using me," he said again, trying to make sure it got through. "I don't know what you're using me as, but I don't like it. I don't wanna be your every-break-up-rebound-guy. I just don't. I wanna get married. I wanna have kids. I wanted to do those things with you."

He watched Tim's teeth sink into the skin inside of his bottom lip, and bite down. The other boy looked back to the floor, shoulders drawing up as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. It pushed up the bottom edges of his hoodie so that they hung around his wrists. Kon tried not to find it cute. It was hard.

"Do you have anything to say?" Kon asked. Tim shrugged. "Alright then," Kon said with a nod. "You fucked up, Tim, and I don't think I wanna talk to you for a long time which really bugs me because you are pretty much the only person I have ever wanted to talk to. You're my best friend. I love you, but it's all just too much. So whatever this weird thing we've had going is? It's over. I'm done. I don't wanna have to watch you build up my hopes, and then dash them anymore. You're not gay. That's cool. Neither am I. That never stopped me from being in love with you.

Tim took a sharp breath, and nodded.

"Now, I think it's time for you to go."

"Wait," Tim said as Kon stepped forward to try, and lead him out the door. "I'm sorry. Can't we just pretend none of this ever happened?"

Kon gave him a rueful smile, and a mirthless laugh. "No," He said almost manically. "What the fuck, Tim? Really? Like it never happened? Like what? You want to pretend that I've never kissed you? Like that never happened, or meant anything to me?" That hurt worst out of anything. That made anger bubble up in Kon's chest. 

Tim looked even more guilty. "Can't we just go back?" he asked.

"No!" Kon said harshly. "No, this isn't like Batman dying! You can't just bring him back to life, and have that be cool! You can't just erase all this shit. I don't want you to. I don't regret you, Tim. I just can't live with this anymore."

Tim's eyes were wide, and panicked when he looked back up at Kon again. "I can't loose you," he said desperately.

There was something huge, and overwhelming in Kon that wanted to hold him tight then, but it wouldn't have helped anyone. He tucked his hands into his pockets as well, and took a deep breath, staring at the ceiling. "You should have thought of that first, huh?"

He could see the physical response. The way that Tim's diaphragm jumped up into his lungs, and the way his throat began to tighten. 

"Kon, I'm sorry! Kon, please! You're my best friend! You're all I've got!"

"You've got Tam," Kon said.

Tim was panicking. Kon knew that. "No I don't!"

"You two broke up already?"

Tim nodded. Kon gave him another forced laugh.

"Wow, Tim. Wow. You were both happy as harps last time I saw you. What happened? What was your excuse?"

"She broke up with me," Tim said softly. "She said I wasn't available enough."

"Did she essentially give you the same speech I'm giving you now?"

"Missing a few key elements, but yeah," Tim said to the bookshelf in the entryway.

"Still think you're not the problem?" 

"Fuck you, Kon."

"Yep, you need to go," Kon said hand wrapping gently around Tim's biceps, and pushing him back toward the door.

"Wait! Wait! Kon, please!"

"Please what? What more is there to say?"

"Please, I love you, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Kon stopped. They were less than a foot from the door. He wasn't angry anymore. He didn't even have the capacity to be angry. "I love you too," he said. "But think about how it took all this for you to actually say that. I don't know if you're lying or not, Tim. I can't tell. You've trained yourself to avoid detection by me. Do you really love me, or are you just afraid of being alone?"

Tim turned into his chest, fingers clamping down around the fabric of his t-shirt as he stood on his tip toes, and buried his face in Kon's neck. "Please, Conner, I can't do this without you. Please."

"I'm not leaving okay? I promised. We'll always be friends. I'll always be here for you. But right now, I need some time. I need some space. If it gets bad just say my name, and I'll be there, but I can't have this going on anymore. I need you to know, and really know, that it's not okay. I'm not something to be taken for granted. I can't be the one who puts you back together every time."

Tim took a harsh breath, and held on tighter, but Kon pushed him off with TTK, weakening the hold on his shirt. He shut the door, and it hurt to do it. It hurt to hear Tim pound on the other side, and turn the lock. It hurt to turn away. It was what needed to be done though.

He closed his hearing to the sound of Tim screaming "I love you!" and walked into the kitchen. Ma was waiting there, arms wide enough to wrap him in a hug, and hold him tight as he cried.

"I made you a pie, honey," she said.

In Smallville pie made everything better.


End file.
